Signs of Abuse in Children

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As parents, carers and educators, we have the responsibility of looking out for children in our care as they are considered vulnerable. This is especially true for children with disabilities who are considered more at risk due to their inability to fully express what they may be feeling or experiencing. Below is a guide and some signs that could serve as early warning signals that a child might be experiencing abuse. These are not sole indicators and should be considered together with every child’s circumstance.

Why you should never say someone with Autism looks “normal”

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Many times, you may find that if you tell an adult with Autism or a parent who has a child with Autism that their child looks normal, rather than appreciate your comment (because you mean well) you may get a cynical look. This is why:

  • Contrary to what you think, it is not a compliment. It depicts stereotyping, sounds derogatory and shows you are ready to judge people simply based on their looks.
  • Autism is an invisible disability therefore, you should not expect to see any physical deformity or worse still a human with a dinosaur head.
  • It trivialises the individual’s struggle- sort of like saying “Oh! It is just autism, it really doesn’t count”.
  • It shows ignorance. Now everyone is not expected to know everything but, as with any other subject, when you don’t know or understand, you ask for more clarity.
  • There are alternative things you can say such as:
    • What does it mean to have Autism?
    • Tell me a bit more about it

Don’t reduce people to how they look. Everyone is uniquely beautiful and deserve a fair chance at life regardless of any underlying medical condition or look.

#BeAware

You are your child’s first role model- special needs or not!

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Lead by example
Teach
Model
Nurture
Groom
Show love
Show understanding
Be compassionate
Encourage positive behaviour and attitude
Have faith in self

Don’t be the the person in this picture
Don’t raise your child to be the person in this picture
It takes conscious efforts and is certainly more difficult if the child has special needs but it is doable.

N.B If your child is showing early signs of aggressive behaviour please talk to your pediatrician. A lot of conditions such as Conduct Disorder can be managed with early intervention.

#BeAware

Before you offer that unsolicited parental advice…

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This is a society where we believe “it takes a community to raise a child”. Therefore, we are automatically entitled to giving parenting advice to others- bad enough before they ask for it, and worse still in the face of a child that is not well behaved.
Well, just in case you did not realise, these are the assumptions you may have consciously or unconsciously made about the recipient of your advice:
1. That they need it
2. That they don’t already know about it
3. That they have not tried it before
4. That they are not doing a great job at parenting

A badly behaved child is not always a result of bad parenting. Some children genuinely struggle with appropriate behaviour.

That child who just can’t sit in one place or follow instructions might have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
That other child who keeps making that “weird noise” might have Tourettes syndrome.
Oh! and that child who had a meltdown at the hairdresser’s might have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder).
That child who can’t wait their turn and keeps crying might have AUTISM.
And that child that seems very violent, temperamental and disruptive might have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder).

So when you feel the urge to dole out that unsolicited parenting advice, or cast that judgemental look or murmur “na wa oh!”, how about trying EMPATHY. It is understanding what someone else is going through by putting yourself in their shoes. If you have not parented a special needs child, you don’t know what it takes to parent a special needs child.